It was probably a love at first sight

I was meticulously believe that “falling in love at first sight” do happened only in movies and just only a myth. I was being a Grinch then. Until one day, someone came along and all the premonitions ebb away. This all happened yesterday. The moment my eyes laid upon his, I was in awe. Just like in the movies, everything freezes for a second, zoomed in all way, the world pausing just for a span of time. His magenta eyes flickers on mine. I was in gasp. And his smile is something that I couldn’t stand but to fall. And in that moment, I know we were logically linked together as if we have a mutual connection. Paradoxically, it never ended with a happily ever after moment. We haven’t had the chance to introduce with each other. But despite of that, I know it in my heart it was real. He was real. And I’m happy for that.

There are just certain things we need to remember that everything happened for a reason. Someone we meet gives a great impact in our lives.
If we meet again, I will definitely make sure we will properly introduce with each other. Because if it’s meant to happen, then it will. Then if not, at least I had the chance.

To the red Valentino guy, this isn’t goodbye yet. Let’s just say,see you later and till we meet again.

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Wordy Reminder

Lucky were those who born with a silver spoon in one’s mouth. They will never dig their fingers to the ground in order to live. They never will be delirious about one’s life poverty. They live in a state of affluent parts full of larnies. They get what they want. They don’t fantasize things because they have everything they need. Their Saturday nights usually consist of seeing a PG-13 movie and then getting frozen yogurt. Their happiness is always within their rich. I wonder how happy they must really be. Their world is full of certainty and hope. On the other side of the coin, those ill-fated people speak otherwise. Their lives weren’t that easy. They have to struggle in order to survive, work 18 hours a day but still not having enough to feed for thyself. They live full of uncertainty and negativity. They become vulnerable, have fear of futures, and lack of confidence because they think the world is greedy and life’s cruel. And due to low opportunities, some became monsters. They changed into someone they never expected to because it’s the only way they could escape their nightmares. They do crimes, they robbed, and they steal. They outlive evil because of pain.

Amidst the thought, I then realized, I guess it’s not about how we live. It’s about how we shaped our destiny and future. We, people, are the ones who create our own luck. It depends upon how we bring ourselves to a picturesque moment called life. How you reacted to every situation full of hardships framed you to what you are today. And this explains why diversity of life exists. People have their own way to deal their lives. The successful ones overcome obstacles, while the thwarted ones, easily surrendered. The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of perseverance.
Now, pause and think. Where’s your life headed to?
Open your eyes and see the world ahead of you. Pause and think. Work and pray hard! Earn it.

A bitch-slap is sometimes necessary.

Sometimes, there comes a point in our life where we can’t dodge ourselves from being envious with other people’s’ lives. Imagining, how would our lives be if we were in the other else’s shoe. What would be like if we also had the chance to experienced those things we never encountered at all. Sometimes you hate your life. Sometimes you downgraded the level of your self-esteem.

And sometimes you compared and ask, “Why is my life not interesting as hers?”, “Why am I not smart?”, “I wish I was beautiful liker her”, “I wish I have a car”, “I so envy her for getting always what she wants” and the like.

And wishing all these things feels like you were looking through a closet of emotional tales, hoping a genie would suddenly appear and  trying to figure out  which one was appropriate when in reality it was just a fantasy because magic will never ever works, and fairy-tales only happen in movies.

Disappointment reveals. A sharp blade of sadness goes through you, deep and quick as though something large and cold is lodged there.

Reality sucks sometimes! I know. We all know. That’s the greatest irony of life. The thing is, sometimes our brains is such a wasteland of confusion  and digests everything it perceives, absorbing the useful, and discarding the useless.  And this is just a mere thought of over-thinking too much. We want things to be better , we may even want ourselves to be better – but we can’t seem to make it happen. Because our world has no fairy-tale.

And by that, bitch-slapping sometimes be necessary to wake us up towards reality.

And in that moment, I know we were infinite..

It’s glad to know that my guts in blogging has finally in sense.
Yes, I’m back!

I’ve deprived myself from blogging even social stalking, I mean networking because of some important matter. Well, lately I was just a busy bee due to school related stuffs. You know first things first.

Speaking of,

Isn’t it overwhelming when all your hardworks, sacrifices, sleep-deprived moment, brain-turmoiled circumstances, pressures and exhaustions have finally paid off? I’m talking about our thesis oral defense. I’m glad that it was over and it went well. Oh, not just well but a BOMB! Bragg to say, we got 1.2 average! I thank God for hearing our prayers. We owe this to HIM. We just couldn’t describe how we felt in that moment. We couldn’t believe that we were going to be nailed it! Tensions were there but calmness dominated because we have faith and we trust that God will help us. And yes we’re not mistaken because He stayed with us till the end of the presentation. Prayer is very powerful!

We are not lucky, we are just bless.

In behalf of my co-researchers, I would like to give thanks to our adviser for the undying support and teachings, our parents for the motivations, the laptop and Ms word for accompanying us till the end and for not bailing us, thesaurus and meriam dictionary for helping us get through with difficult words we encountered, our two panelists for the consideration, our friends for the words of wisdom, our mind and body for the cooperation and not giving that up easily till the last drop and lastly Papa Jesus for hearing our prayers.

This is just a mere explanations of “whatever obstacles may come, when you have faith, trust, and stay positive always, everything will turned out well”.

One accomplishments down, two more to go

And then, “Hello Graduation” 🙂

xoxo..

Dear Diary 101: Call 911! I’m torn between four guys..

Who is who?

Meet Guy # 1: “Mr. Friendship”

Truth be told, he’s not the epitome of beauty but more to say he got the charisma which is no doubt I was captured. Seriously, I got a big crush on him. Needless to say, we aren’t in the same page. I mean, I am not sure if he feels the same way too. How will I know if he has feelings too? Is confronting the best way to explain everything? Like for instance, I am going to tell him “hey, you know I really like you. How about you? Do you like me too?” Haha, that might explains how desperate I am. And moreover, if he doesn’t feels the same way, it might change everything. Like our friendship might come to an end. So unluckily, I will just hide this and just go with the flow and as much as I hated it, we will just remain as “friends”…:(

Guy # 2: “Mr. EX”

 I can’t fathom explain why I put him here. But seriously, I can sense that he’s showing some signs on trying to fix everything between us. Like he’s trying to amend how jerk he is and how sorry he was for left me hanging. For god’s sake, this is ridiculous and full of shit! I’m feeling antagonist towards him. Getting back to an “ex” is never in my vocabulary. The feelings was so last season. Well it’s his loss by the way. Sorry to him! 

Guy # 3: “Mr. Martyr”

I may not like him but because of his sweetness, I’m getting to like him back. This isn’t going the way I thought that is going to go. Like I cursed my subconscious not to fall for him. But unluckily, I became vulnerable and strike by his sweetness. Like really, he is so martyr in a sense that though how many times I busted him, he is still willing to wait. I quoted “I am willing to wait and wait and court you always and feels you that I am really in love with you. I will wait forever until you will fall back”. That’s how the conversation went through.

On the flip side, I’m getting there to fall him back. But I’m still waiting for the right timing. Not now but maybe later? Aww haha, too soon 🙂 Watch out!

Guy # 4: “Mr. Assuming”

I despise him for being a total “feeler”. He thinks I have a crush on him. Huh? He really such a freak.  I know he got the looks but I just don’t like him because he’s too “mahangin”. Mr. know-it-all. Duh!

Bottomline:

Guy # 1 is always been my great crush. Although he showed no sign and he’s only a friend, but for me I consider him so special in my heart. And of all guys out there, he’s going to be my first choice. I always hoping that someday he will fall for me too. And realize how special I am to him too, not just a friend but more than a friend. In that case, I will be the happiest girl on earth and we live happily ever after. BOW!

Next on the line, Guy # 3 is my second option. If he won’t change and still willing to wait then he might be the one too. I’m waiting for the right time and waiting for a sign.

               

See you soon Mr. Dreamboy..

Last night I dreamt of someone. I couldn’t make out any features ’cause it was blur, like a camera lossing its focus. But in my certain singularity deep inside of me, I was pretty sure that he got the looks. Though I didn’t saw it but I really felt it.

I can’t quite explain why this man suddenly appears in my dream. All I can remember was we were lovers. And we were insanely madly inlove. That his love was I longing for.

So ridicule to think and to imagine. I don’t know what in God’s name could possibly explain this.

But whatever the explanation, only God knows why. And this might be a sign.

I’m hafly hoping this gonna happen real soon. I am thrilled to meet this mysterious guy. Adrenalin rush to hold his hand. Excited to kiss him. And honored to marry him.

See you soon Mr. Mysterious guy. Lets meet up soon. I believe!
xoxo.

Here comes the come back feelings..

I thought the feelings were gone. I thought this love was done. And I thought I already moved on.

But, one text and compliment from him ruins everything.

Here comes the come back feelings!

That’s what I get for having a gullible heart.

What’s with him that I can’t even hard to resist?

One smile from him and I am mesmerize.
One word from him and it’s like im being compelled.

Is that his sports? Playing my feelings.
Is he a believer? For believing in everything he said.

I’m being too inquisitive. Too vulnerable. And too numbskull. I don’t even know how this stupidity ends. Cause you see, I dnt know to move on. Just one hello, one everything from him ruin my undone feelings for him.

You know, you really can’t control your emotion especially when your heart will always leads back to him.

P.S.
(this is only a made-up post)

xoxo,